This is courtesy of a commenter on Diane Ravitch’s blog who goes by the handle RageAgainstTheTestocracy. I wish I could take credit for it, but alas, I’m just not that good. Definitely the funniest piece of Common Core commentary I’ve read since Akil Bello’s Skills, Skills, Skills.

All I can say is that David Coleman may have taken the humor out of the SAT, but at least he’s giving the people who follow the exploits of the tester-in-chief a field day.

Oh well, better to laugh than cry. 

The Sorting Test

A thousand thoughts or more ago,
When I was newly known,
There lived four wizards of renown,
Whose names are still well-known:
Bold Billy Gates from Microsoft,
Fair Rhee from her DC stint,
Sweet Duncan from Down Under,
Lord Coleman from Vermint.
They shared a wish, a hope, a scheme,
They hatched a daring plan,
To test all children in the land,
Thus Common Core began.
Now each of these four founders
Stack ranked to find the best
They value just one aptitude,
In the ones they had to test.
By level 1, the lowest were
There just to detest;
For Level 2, the closest
But failed to be the best;
For Level 3, hard workers were
Barely worthy of admission;
And power-hungry Level 4s
Were those of great ambition.
While still alive they did divide
Their favorites from the throng,
Yet how to pick the worthy ones
When they were dead and gone?
‘Twas Coleman then who found the way,
He whipped me out of his head
The founders wrote the standards
So I could choose instead!
Now slip me snug around your brain,
I’ve never yet been wrong,
I’ll have a look inside your mind
And tell where you belong!”